Sunday, January 8, 2017

New Year New Hair.

So the new year arrived.

Everyone says 2016 was a bad year, but I think every year is too long for only good things to happen. Somehow I thought the year of the horse was worse. Anyway each year has its ups and downs.


I remember saying it while I was in secondary school, that I wouldn't want to dye my hair because it just seems to unnecessary. The people were dyeing their hair brown or red that time (not so adventurous) and it just seemed so normal for me. It wasn't healthy for your hair either.

The only reason I could understand why people would do it is because you're probably a middle-aged woman that has white hair that you want to hide.

I don't know what changed my mind, or when did it happen. I already knew that people could bleach their hair and dye their hair with really light colours, something I guess some Asians with only dark hair have always dreamed of.

I saw people with pink, blue, violet and even green hair in my university and I wouldn't say that I admired them a lot, but it was something like, 'Wow, they had the guts to do it' and that's cool.

I remember telling my mom that if I had the chance, I would want to dye my hair pastel orange. She wasn't against the idea, but reminded me that I would need to bleach my hair, which people often said that it destroys your hair.

One thing that I'm really proud of, is the quality of my hair. People would tell me that my hair feels smooth, or it's straight. It's not like I took great lengths to achieve it but I guess it's always been great because I did nothing to it.

I did feel some conflict in me, because if I wanted to achieve that light hair colour, I would need to sacrifice my hair. If I dyed my hair, I would need to say bye to my natural hair for a while, or maybe, what if it doesn't come back. That was the only thing that was stopping me.

I asked around for people's opinions, and most of them said no.

Some said that the dye will eventually fade out, leaving an ugly look with black roots. Some said it wasn't good for your hair. Some said they regret dyeing their hair as well.

But inside me, I didn't really care what they said. Same like when I decided to cut my hair short, I ignored everyone's opinions and just went with it.

Why do I want to dye my hair? And to bleach my hair on my first try when I had no previous experience of dyeing, isn't it too extreme?

My idea is that if I don't do it now, I would probably don't have the chance to do it. I don't want to regret one day, thinking that I should dye my hair. I chose orange initially because I thought I have never seen anybody done it. Then I decided to go with rose gold.

I would also like to state that this will be my first and last time dyeing my hair, so I thought, why not just go for a crazy colour?

I thought of using the money that I earned during my internship because it's expensive as heck. No way I'm asking my parents for money. Then, I went to look for saloons and consult the people there. Soon I was setting a date for an appointment to change my look.

I forgot to mention that my hair was very long when I went there. It reached my waist. It was the longest that I have ever kept but I had no problem chopping it away. The lady gave them back to me as a souvenir.

Then the bleaching process started. I was expected to bleach my hair twice because of the light colour I wanted to achieve. I expected it to hurt but they were really careful, and I thank them for that. I felt nothing for the first time bleaching but they used a stronger bleach the second time because my hair wasn't getting lighter enough. It was then I felt some heat, but other than that my scalp was fine.

Also, I finally got to read a book when I was waiting there.

After that they just coloured my hair. In the end, everything took six hours. My hair was violet at the top and with rose gold at the end. It wasn't what I asked, but I don't hate it. They even made my hair curl just because they wanted to take pictures of it.

My dad was the first person to see the new change, and he says I look like a foreigner. My family told me it looks great and that's good enough for me. I never told my classmates the colour I chose, so I'm excited to show them on Monday.

So far my hair still feels fine (it's just been two days). I'm not supposed to wash my hair for the first three days after dyeing and I'm not complaining, I've gotten lazy in washing my hair because it was sooooo long and took so long to dry.

Even if my hair loses it colours or gets messed up one day, I don't think I will regret it. I'm glad I made this decision, and it is something that I will remember forever.

If the time comes where I can't stand my ruined hair, I'll probably dye it black or just cut it short. After all, it's just hair, it will grow back.

Tuesday, December 20, 2016

Comic Fiesta 2016

After my first time in CF, I decided I will never return. But I also do. I wonder why.

This year, I had a reason. I wanted to support a friend who is having a booth for the first time. And I know another person who is also managing their booth, so it's like visiting them and see how they're doing.

But other than that, I have no reason to go. I don't buy anything (because I don't like keeping stuff) and I really don't have anyone I wanted to meet. Famous cosplayers are cool but did you look at the queue!!?

It was a good chance to try out the public transport around my area that was recently developed. It's great because the event location is very far away and I don't like driving. This year's location was at PWTC, when they had it at KLCC for the past few years.

Thanks to the help of friends, I was fortunate enough to get hold of tickets so I didn't have to queue early in the morning before the event even started to buy them. I heard from my friend's mother that she had to queue for two hours to buy the tickets, yikes.

I got there and walked around, looking at artists' booths and saw some really famous cosplayers with my own eyes but that's about it. I thought there were lesser cosplayers than usual and lesser exciting things to check out.

The crowd's okay but according to a friend she said the first day was more packed. They were also complaining how stuffy and hot it was in the halls.

Had a sucky lunch and spilled water (thank you to the person who gave me tissue without hesitation) and walked around some more. Then I was back my way home, but not before stopping by Sunway Putra Mall.

I bought nothing, took no pictures, met no cosplaying friends 'cause I didn't really plan ahead. Am I disappointed, not really, I knew it will end up like this.

I'm glad for my friends managing the booths and thankful for my brother for accompanying me. Hopefully, I will have no more reasons to return to CF.

It's not like CF was bad, it just isn't for me.

Thursday, December 8, 2016

Square One.

Three months passed since I started my internship.

If you asked me what have I learned during these three months, I would say a lot, but then it doesn't feel like much either. Still, it is an experience that I'm thankful for.

I feel relief and just like how I felt on the first day of work, I'm not looking forward to the working life. But life must go on and I will go along with it till I die.

I felt very lost when I started my internship. Even after years in university I wasn't clear what I wanted to do. A decade from now on, will my interest stay the same? Will the choice I choose now be the right one?

Who knows?

I love drawing ever since I could remember. I doodled on places I shouldn't, paper, on the computer, though I admit I'm drawing much less than I should.

But people tell me again and again not to choose this path. It will be a tiring journey, probably not even worth it. That I should do what others are doing. It probably won't be much, but at least your head is above the waters. Maybe.

Is this the point where geniuses and the talented are separated from the rest? Where only a few will survive and make it, while the rest are left with their crushed dreams? Should I turn back before I regret?

The stubbornness in me tells me that I shouldn't listen to what people say. That I should at least try, but I admit I don't have the fire in me. I have not tasted success, nor I have tasted defeat, that's why I'm stuck in between, not knowing what to do.

I need to find my ignition, or I will remain standing where I started.

Thursday, November 10, 2016


I shall not be forgiven for not updating my blog. It's not that I totally forgot about it or I had no content to talk about, I just didn't do it and I'm guilty.

But here I am that's what matters, right? Right?


In my last post, I was talking about my internship and that was on week three. I'm currently on week 12, if I'm not mistaken and times flies, really.

Man, it feels nice to type about my feelings in proper English in essay format with correct punctuation.

I got to do a lot more stuff after that post and I'm happy to say I did some illustrations! But now I'm (most likely) stuck to animating till my internship is over. But I'm not complaining, I had it so much better than some of my friends.

But I'm dying to back to studying. Not looking forward to the working life at all.

Even with my internship going on, I'm glad I still managed to meet my classmates. Got to meet the girls to watch Train To Busan (CRYING) and another time when I went to visit TOA's final year exhibition where I got to meet an old friend too.

The last time we met was during the Art Expo which was really interesting. Wish we had more time though. We also went to try ESCAPE where I found out that I'm not that smart as I thought!

There's more of us but girls rock.

 I just can't wait to meet my friends more frequently after everything is over. We're nearing graduation and it saddens me thinking we'll probably going separate ways.


Something I was really happy about is that I managed to attend one of my cousin's wedding!

I always missed the weddings no thanks to assignments and studies. The worst thing is I could have gone to them if I wasn't so worried about my assignments and studies. Tryingtobeagoodstudenthere.

Without the burden of assignments, I got back to my hometown and spent quality time with my relatives.

Another thing happened is that I was one of the receptionist for the wedding dinner. I was kinda reluctant at first because I knew none of my cousin's friends/colleagues and I'm not good with people but I rolled with it anyway.

I'm glad I was with my cousins and one of my aunts and with their help, we managed to get everyone seated despite the poor arrangement in the name list and wrong table numbers.

I also got tipsy that day.

Hey look! The same dress!
I have things to talk about but I think I shall leave them for another post. It's a motivation for me to write more hopefully.
May life go easy on me.

Monday, September 12, 2016


So I'm just going to get straight to the point and say that I am now going through an internship at an animation company. It has been three weeks since I started working and thankfully, the wish I made on my last post came true.

Getting into the company wasn't really hard really. I was desperate to just get a company to accept me. And my company didn't really judged me on my skills either. They just wanted people to work for them, I guess.

But their pay wasn't really low for an intern so I'm not complaining.

The company's really chill. I'm allowed to surf the web, I don't have to arrive really early for work and the people there are fine.

I am lucky to have a classmate following me so it wasn't that lonely and awkward. And I was super, super, super grateful to have another female intern joining us at the end of the second week, because I seriously thought the only female I would see in the building is the cleaning lady.

She caught me watching videos of Overwatch when we first met and we started talking about it instantly. She's younger than me. *wipes tears*

My first choice was definitely not 3D animation, but I had no choice really. There aren't a lot of 2D animation companies and clearly I'm not good enough to be accepted into companies that did illustrations, concept art, etc.

I had to learn using a new program called Blender, but it's just a matter of getting used to things. It wasn't really difficult, but I found myself getting confused when using Adobe programs. Just everyday problems when you have to switch between programs. *shrugs*

I had experience in animating, while my classmate doesn't. So I was assigned to animate quite a lot and he did some modeling, painted texture and did some story boarding. I dreaded at the thought that I was going to animate for the rest of my internship.

One day when both of my classmate and the female intern was assigned to drawing concept art, I felt so jealous (sad but true). I expressed my thoughts to my supervisor during lunch and I'm glad he listened, 'cause I got assigned to draw days later.

Another thing I learned in this internship is how much I am not looking forward to the working life. Sitting for eight hours, doing the same thing everyday for the rest of my life is simply not appealing when I'm not doing something I love. I immediately miss studying, and I really wish I don't have to graduate so soon.

So, everything's okay. I'm glad everything's okay. I had other friends who had to stayed back for work till wee hours and others who had nothing to do, so I'm glad my situation is okay. It has already been three weeks and hopefully everything passes like the breeze.

Sunday, August 21, 2016

Riolympics 2016.

See what I did there?


Sooooooooo, an event that happens once every four years. It should be something to look forward tobut somehow there wasn't much hype before it began.

One thing was my family didn't have an Astro anymore so it's a bit difficult to tune in to watch the games, and I tried looking for ways to watch it live on the internet but I didn't really try hard enough I guess.

The only event I'm really interested in, and like most Malaysians are, is badminton.

Our national hero, Dato Lee Chong Wei is going for the gold once again but seriously we don't really expect things to go well but we don't blame him anyway 'cause he already won our hearts.

What really surprised me is that there are two other Malaysian teams that made it into the finals. Mixed doubles and men's doubles. I knew we had to support our country, even if our chances our slim.

Thanks to a friend, we managed to watch live stream on a website that is surprisingly smooth.

The first event we watched was the finals for the mixed doubles. Our country's Chan Peng Soon and Goh Liu Ying is facing against Indonesian's veteran team, Tontowi Ahmad and Liliyana Natsir. Before the match, this Malaysian team was ranked 72 if I'm not mistaken. So the fact that they made into the finals was a shock.

It was probably obvious, but in the end the Indonesians won. Still, the country's really proud of them and their achievement.

On the next day, there's the semi-finals for men's single and the finals for the men's double.

The semi-finals was really the show that everyone wanted to watch as it's the match between the two greatest rivals of all times, Dato Lee Chong Wei and Lin Dan. It's kinda unfitting for them to meet in the semi-finals but we're all nervous anyway.

For each score we cheered and scream (at least my family did) and it was so nerve wrecking because they taking turns to score until it was finally 20-20 at the third match. Freaking 20-20. That doesn't always happen, my poor heart couldn't take it.

But he did it, he went against the odds and finally beat his long time rival. Dato Lee Chong Wei triumphed and was on his way to gold. Me and my mom was jumping around like happy bunnies.

We used our energy so much that while waiting for the men's double to start, both me and my mom fell asleep. But it's okay, we didn't oversleep.

The men's double was certainly something I did not expect. When we thought things couldn't get more interesting than the previous match, it did.

Who would have known that Malaysia's team Tan Wee Kiong and Goh V Shem could give China's Zhang Nan and Fu Haifeng a hard time at the court. I'm pretty sure both teams are equally nervous, as I see their hands shake as they served.

Malaysia had it, they could have won as they were leading as the match is near its end. But our poor babies are so nervous, I bet they didn't even dream they could reach so far. Being in front of a crowd, facing a strong opponent and all of their training comes down to this point. I can't possibly imagine the pressure that was on their shoulder as people are hoping for Malaysia's first gold.

Sadly, the intense match ended with a 21-23, with China taking the gold. I remember having the feeling of disappointment wash over me, similar to the feeling when Dato LCW lost in the London's Olympics. But I stayed to watch our heroes get their medals, because I was still impressed they made it so far and showed us a great match.

The finals for the men's single was on the next day. The bronze medal match took place before the gold's. I just watched as I was waiting.

Lin Dan was against Denmark's Viktor Axelsen, and I thought, bah, Lin Dan's going to win. I think all of my expectations are proven wrong this year. Lin Dan lost to the Chinese-speaking Axelson surprisingly. But I think it was more of Lin Dan not putting his all into the match.

And the moment we were waiting for, the finals. Dato LCW was going against Chen Long.

Initially, I was positive our national hero could win him as he won him many times before, unlike losing to Lin Dan so many times. But my mom told me that Chen Long is stronger now, and we shouldn't keep our hopes too high up.

All it took was two matches as we watch our hero struggled to score. I couldn't bear to watch the screen when Chen Long only need 1 score to win the gold. It wasn't a close match, so it didn't hurt as much.

I noticed that the two rivals Dato LCW and Lin Dan weren't as full of energy as before. It's not like they're not trying their best, but it's like they lost the fire in their eyes. Probably it's old age, or maybe they realized their prime time is almost over.

The internet circulated a letter from Lin Dan to Dato LCW (I don't know if it's legit as I didn't find the source), talking about their rivalry as well as their friendship. And Lin Dan admitted that it is probably time to let go, as there are younger ones taking over the court. It was a sweet message, talking about how Dato LCW was a great rival and he was so proud to face him in the court many times.

EDIT: The letter was fake. 

And thus our hopes of gold is dashed. Our badminton team took all silvers, something not our country was expected to do. Rather than being disappointed, all Malaysians felt proud of our athletes and was expressing their pride and joy on social media.

For me, I'm not sad anymore but I'm just wondering how will the next Olympics be like. Will our athletes prove themselves again and make our country proud? Dato LCW is probably going to retire, and is anyone going to be as good as him?

We'll just have to see for ourselves, four years later.


My internship is starting soon. Like tomorrow.

I don't know what to expect, but I hope the next three months will be decently okay. It's okay if it's not awesome, but I just want it to be okay.

Let things be okay

Saturday, July 30, 2016

Mangas that Left Deep Impressions

When I was younger, I used to share manga recommendations on my blog. It wasn't like I was trying to turn my blog into a manga blog or something like that, it was just because I felt like sharing the mangas I love to my readers.

It wasn't a lot but I always followed a format when I was introducing the mangas. And honestly, I think those posts are one of the sources of my viewers. 'Cause nobody wants to know about me *criessobscries* Just kidding.

I stopped introducing mangas for a number of reasons I guess. One, I became more busy with life and I couldn't even update normal posts on my blog. Two, I shifted from shoujo to other genres which I wasn't familiar and lastly I just didn't read as many mangas as before. I also wasn't that adventurous anymore when finding mangas to read.

But recently I thought about it and I kinda miss how I blogged about mangas.

Of course, I could introduce the mangas I am reading right now but I thought it will be more interesting to introduce the mangas that left me the deepest impressions, in terms of everything. From the most entertaining mangas to the most weird mangas I have ever read, I'm going to show a list of mangas that really I can't forget.

Please do note that I'm not an expert in mangas, and the genres I read are soooo limited. I'm usually a shoujo reader but I do like some shounen and seinen. And even though I read shounen and seinen, I don't know many of mangas in that field either.

I just read what I like, and this list consist of the limited mangas I read, so please understand if my list isn't really interesting. I would also like to mention that the list below is not a list of recommendation, so don't expect all good mangas below.


First Manga that Made Me Cry: Koko ni Iru Yo

by Tooyama Ema

Typical shoujo manga. It doesn't have a unique storyline, nor is the art style beautiful but still memorable in it's own cute way. I wouldn't recommend Koko ni Iru Yo if you want a really good shoujo to read, but I remember it strongly because it was the first manga that made me cry. At least the one that I can remember.

When I began reading this manga, I was reading for the romance. The love story in Koko ni Iru Yo is okay, predictable and nothing special. But there was one scene where the protagonist, Sumino stood up for herself against a bully and for a timid girl, it was a really brave act.

I had to search for the chapter again because I couldn't remember what happened. Now that I looked back at it, it wasn't really dramatic or anything but it just made the younger me cried. I have no idea why, I couldn't even remember the story, but it made me cry.

I blogged this title before, introducing the manga in its own post, and also mentioning that it made me cry if I'm not mistaken.

Random fact: I cry more easily while reading manga nowadays, but the manga that made me cry the most is probably One Piece. Everyone's backstory triggers my tear ducts.

Most Ridiculous Manga I've Read: Random Walk

by Yoshimuzi Wataru

Again with the shoujo. I chose to read this manga just because I wanted to read shoujo. I expected it to be another typical shoujo and well, I guess it is in a way, except during the whole story the 'heroine' is just falling in love with different guys.

I didn't even bother to look for the heroine's name because I don't want to flip through the manga again. Anyway, heroine kept changing her 'boyfriend' with different guys (even someone's boyfriend at one point) but that isn't the worst part.

In the end, she ends up with her step brother which was her tutor from the start. Like wadafak. It's like the message the author wanted to convey is to have many flings as possible and who knows, you might have an incest relationship.

The Manga that Left Me Terrified: Higurashi no Naku Kori ni - Tatarigoroshi

by Ryukishi 07

I think Higurashi is probably one of the first horror manga I read. I'm not super into horror but it is interesting to read once in a while. Normally, I'll read horror if it's a sub genre, not the main genre.

I read Tatarigoroshi thinking that it's just a manga, and the art wouldn't scare me as much like jump scares in horror movies. Oh, how wrong I was.

The whole manga in generally wasn't really scary, but the mystery of the village keeps you wondering what the heck is going. Also, little girls dying. I was actually okay with the whole manga till I read the ending where the protagonist survived after the whole village was killed off.

I'm too afraid to read the ending again but if I remembered correctly, there was a part where it mentioned that there are footsteps following behind you. It was paired together with just an image of a pair of feet walking. I don't know what it is, but it immediately sent chills down my spine. Even now as I'm typing this, I'm having the same feeling as when I just read it.

I'm quite curious to know how the whole Higurashi series goes but after finishing only just one part of the story, I'm too afraid to find out about the whole thing.

It's amazing how a simple image and just words can scare the heck out of someone.

Most Disturbing Manga I've Read: Shamo

by Hashimoto Izou & Tanaka Akio

I'm okay with dark, psychological disturbing mangas, because to me it's very interesting to see how the authors can come up sick ideas for the story. You know, it's different from usual mangas and yeah, I like them.

I wouldn't say Shamo affected me greatly, but when I thought of disturbing mangas, it came to my mind first and honestly, I can't think of any other manga that can top it, for now. I heard Berserk is very dark as well, and it probably IS more disturbing than Shamo but I have not read Berserk so I can't compare with both titles.

Well, if killing his own parents isn't sick enough for you, watch as the protagonist Ryo Narushima get into prison, get gang-raped by inmates and turn into a monster himself. And I thought Walter White is evil, meet Ryo!

I guess Ryo is really fascinated with fighting, but his detemination to defeat the guy that beat him is just beyond human *cough*rapingtheopponent'sgirlfriend*cough.

I don't support Ryo and his ways but I'm very interested to know how far he can go.

I can't remember why I stopped reading the manga, though. I think it was either I caught up with the chapters or was it because they changed the author. Will I continue reading? I don't know.

Most Disgusting Manga I've Read: Glyceride

by Junji Ito

Well, to be exact, it's a chapter of the manga Yami no Koe by none other than Junji Ito! *screams in terror*

Some will say Junji Ito is the king of horror manga but to me, he draws more gross stuff than horror. Not that I read all of his works but but but. And it helps as his art style is more close to realistic humans than the typical manga art style.

All of his works are gross but for me, Glyceride takes the cake. It's just plain gross. Enough said. Would never read it again.

The Manga that I Can't Possibly Describe: Oyasumi Punpun

by Asano Inio

Oyasumi Punpun is unique in so many ways. First of all, the protagonist looks like a bird. His family are birds too but the rest of people look normal.

To sum it up, the manga is about the Punpun, a young boy(bird?), growing up and maturing, dealing with life. It talks about his problems with his family, his long time love, sex, depression and many, many other stuffs.

What makes the manga so different from others is the way the author uses a lot visuals to depict Punpun's thoughts, feelings and how he views the world. For an example, in the eyes of Punpun, God looks like this.

Because of the way it's drawn so strangely, I always find myself amused while reading the manga. But behind all the weird images, we're still following Punpun's struggles with life and let me say this, the story will tear you apart. This is the manga that will totally mess your mind.

I don't even think I can properly say how special this manga is. The only way you can experience it is to read it.

Most Tragic Manga I've Read: Deep Love - Ayu no Monogatari

 by Yoshii Yuu

Deep Love is probably my first tragic manga. I was completely new to the genre and once again, I didn't sign up for this.

Even now, I remember how much pity I felt for Ayu as her life falls apart slowly. As she finds purpose in life and some people to care about, she fights on but heroes don't always win. Deep Love isn't the first story I've known with a sad ending but watching Ayu struggle till the end is just heart breaking.

There are a few mangas about the other characters' perspective and although they all fall into the tragedy category, Ayu no Monogatari left the most impression.

The Manga that Made Me Think About Life: Orange

by Takano Ichigo

Orange is a shoujo manga but it's far from the usual romantic routine other shoujos have. To me, I think the precious friendship among the characters is more prominent than the love story.

It's a tale of Takamiya Naho who suddenly receives letters from herself from the future. It warns her vaguely of incidents and the tragedy that follows if she doesn't follow her heart. After all, the future her has lots of regrets, so that's why she wrote the letters in the first place.

I can't help but support and love all the characters and the manga kept me on the edge of my seat so many times. I read finish the manga in a day, and I couldn't stop reading it even though I was in class.

After the manga, it made me think a lot of life. A lot. Like, really a lot.

I thought of my family, my friends and how happy I was just hearing my friends laughing. It made me appreciate life more.


I guess that's it.

I realized most of my choices are my first tries in reading a new genre, I guess that's why they leave a stronger impression than the rest.

On another note, I feel like changing the layout and theme of my blog. I learned coding and if I really want to, I could do it but to match Blogger's standards hmmm, I'm not sure if I'm ready for that. And I found out you can't import Muse's codes into the website sooooo.

I'm gonna draw my background this time.